Talking with my dad amidst one of my frequent and unsolicited crying spells this summer when trying to empathize with my distressed state, he offered me this observation: “It must be really hard not having any friends.” The statement did not come from a malicious place. Far from it. T’was simply an observation. Having been […]Read More Anxiety Girl Goes Rogue: Actually Enjoys a Night out with Strangers
“But even after everything… I honestly don’t think I’d change a thing.” I said this to my therapist yesterday while sitting on a white leather sofa, barefoot, with one foot tucked under the other and stroking a red suede pillow covered in dog hair. The culprit was my therapist’s golden lab turned therapy dog […]Read More Before You Guess… Both Slim Shady and I are Back.
You’ve spent the majority of your newly adult life hiding behind “fine.”Read More For The Girls Afraid To Let Anyone In (And Other Life Updates)
I’ve been thinking a lot about time recently; in all kinds of ways. Sometimes it’s just fixating on mundane things such as my daily schedule. Here time is a precious, and far too often squandered, resource. Even so, having a schedule and knowing what I’m doing on any given day makes me feel as though […]Read More A History and Spanish Major is Trying to Understand One of Life’s Most Abstract Concepts and It’s not Going so Well.
The honeymoon phase is over. All of that positive energy I was feeling at the start of the semester is virtually non-existent. At this point I’m running on fumes and starting my countdown to the weekend first thing Monday morning. I’m nowhere near full relapse, but the resurgence of old and unwanted thoughts and habits […]Read More I Have no Energy to Think up a Creative Title
Prior to my various assaults, my relationship with sex and relationships has still been tumultuous at best. Before I knew or experienced anything more than horrific middle school make out sessions, I decided that I would never date. I came to this conclusion quite rationally. I had a bigger stomach than the rest of my […]Read More Sex, Drugs ( not the fun kind), and PTSD
Let’s talk about the color pink. Growing up I took pride in my aversion to the color and my unwillingness to like something just because I was a girl and that’s what we did. I loved sports, so in the black and white world of a child, I chose being an “athlete” over being […]Read More Why I Chose Not To Go To D.C. Today… And Why That’s Completely Fine.
“Everything would just be so much easier if I crashed right now.” I used to have this thought quite regularly when I would drive. It wasn’t that I wanted to die. I just wanted an excuse to not live anymore (not in the literal life or death sense to be clear). If I was confined […]Read More Return to Amish Country
I graduated Brain Rehab. The process was much easier than my intake. I sat down, told then why I thought I was ready, gave them my half of the discharge plan, and 25 minutes later I walked out the door no longer a patient of Brain Rehab. How fucking weird is that? My first day […]Read More Contrary to Popular Belief, ( I’m Being a Sarcastic Asshole Because Who Even Knows What an IOP Actually Is?) Finishing Brain Rehab Was Pretty Anti-Climactic.
I refuse to leave 2016 stamped with a good or bad label. Because just like the one before it or the thousands that will follow, it was just a year. Not one or the other, simply a harbinger of lessons we can take with us into the new year. So Instead of moving forward with […]Read More Brief New Years Thoughts